it may just be that its too hard for me to sustain an interest long enough to not get bored after awhile. afterall, i remember that time at the coffeeshop– i was one of the few who raised their hands tentatively to express their preference of writing over liaising with the media. it is still true. i would choose writing over pandering to the media anytime. however, at the same time, i would love to feel like its not like i cannot do the latter but that i choose to do the former. right now it just feels like i got relegated to being the writer/researcher. it’s never been about how happy i am, but how much i want to feel needed. im not that miffed really, maybe just abit disgruntled. this is a phase which will pass in abit, im very sure. all these phases do. i just need to wait.