id still want to swan dive, into you

so im back in singapore; landed last morning at 08h00, after which town for a notsoquick lunch, and the muchly anticipated haircut and browsthreading, and a scary 18-hours sleep. nevermind the haircut was a disastrous and currently deterring me from going out for the next week or so): point is, I AM BACK. after 5 months of frivolously being part of a continent so thrilling i wanted to stay forever in, 39 hours ago i was finally back in my dads cab weaving through the highways of singapore.

id always thought id be fine with staying in paris forever, because it is everything id always thought it would be, maybe more, bigger, and better. i think i will still be fine with staying there forever, but just now, when i came back home everything felt really right. the bed was where it should be (super single, next to the wall with the window), the table still had that copy of july08 smitten, i could spin round and round in the livingroom if i wanted to, WITHOUT HITTING THE WALLS, and zomg is it awesome to live in an apartment with more than one bedroom !

there had been episodes of unhappiness in the last few months, from homesickness to emotional scuffles to loneliness to im-sick-of-being-cold, and there were times i wished i was back home in the familiar comfort where everything would be predictable and safe, but really in sum, on retrospect: EXCHANGE WAS AN INSANE, MIND-BLOWING EXPERIENCE. i could go on and on about how its an invaluable and absolutely indulgent experience; starting with rooming with one of the best people in the world, the liberating experience of living by yourself (almost) so you have pretty much control of everything, a nice clean break, FRENCH EVERYTHING, travelling: belgiumitalylondonbarcelonastrasbourggermanyitalylondonAGAIN(:, yux and mag, miss neuche and the dream team ! i didnt think i’ll miss december so much, i was never one for sentiments and get-togethers; going italy again wasnt what i wouldve wanted to do on my accord, and not doing london proper as a tourist will be one of my greatest regrets, but for all its worth, december worked out amazing and it definitely wrapped up exchange well. christmas at vaticancity was surprisingly amazing. right between 24dec and 25dec i was with a group of the most special people and even though i was freeeezing my stupid ass off, but there was a warmth from within which made me want to text everyone i hold dear to my heart, because somehow i felt that fuzzyfeeling was special enough to travel through texts/cells and manifest itself in those across the ocean as well. i couldnt have been any happier in the brain-blowing cold i was in. newyears was an understated affair with takeaways and champagnes and i know i never said it, even though i came close to texting everyone that night after the rest went home, but really, thank youu so much for coming over with muffinman and krispykremes all, it was so sweet it punished me for feeling emo/antisocial when its newyearseve and one of my last days in londres; we couldve been part of the stampede ! the best and worst thing of it all was that it really was quite once-in-a-lifetime, i dont think the same group of people could ever congregate in london/rome again. that makes it so precious.

i couldnt explain or capture the past few months in words even if i want to, its just so much moree, i dont think i can be more afraid of forgetting something. december08 was just the freshest batch of memories which came along with exchange, there are still so much more which had to be tucked further to make room for more happies. there was also cooking in the kitchenette, cokelight/cafecremes at bistros, paris by dusk, gourmet sexcapades .. omg so MUCH MORE, that in the next few months or even years there will be times when i will be paris-sick, or exchange-sick, but you will have to bear with me cos that will be my way of reminiscing and remembering some of the best days in my life. right now, just HAPPY2009(: 2008 had been quite a thrill (as with all other years actually), but one which i had enjoyed tremendously. 2009 will be good too; i feel it in my fingers, i feel it in my toes♥

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  1. mag

    im so glad u’re home!
    welcome home!! :))

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