lovesong of the buzzard

its amazing the kind of timewasting that comes alongside having the notebook. the one whole month my notebook was gone and didnt grow legs to fix itself, no doubt there were dignity-trampling instances i had to beg the older sibling to allow for pleeease 40 mins to check my email and breathe alittle of that cyberspace air, all in all the self-sufficiency was very liberating. now, im back to facebooking very twenty minutes (stalking those same few profiles/walls oh the maturity the maturity !), checking sgselltrade everynight, and ontd.lj every 2 hours. having the notebook back also does not entail being productive (i wonder why i am even mildly surprised; i should know myself well enough to know noo i wont get my event stats up by today even though i promised myself so) or useful (ayee modules mapping !). infinitely sore is the return of the msn syndrome. somehow without msn you live a life so much more self-centered, like you dont wait for people to come online, or to say hi to you, or really you dont wonder much about how come theyre not online, like heyy its 10pm theyre not online are they not at home have they blocked me ?? wtf are they doing ?

its awful ! and sad as this entry is, i think ive become emotionally dependent on my notebook again ):


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