i think id said this before, but i can spend hundreds of hours going through deviantart oggling over pretty photos and being envious and jealous that my brain does not work like half of theirs. and of course that i dont look like half of what those models do but its nice all the same, looking at beautiful things and beautiful people. half the time these people are more enigmatic than goodlooking anyway. these days id been indulging in big thick magazines too (6dollars for a whole book of advertisements is really indulgent) and i like looking at the mad colours on the models faces, think neongreen and deepblues speckled with silver eyeliner and impossibly high cheekbones. i know i’ll scream and run away if ever i see people on the streets donning those insane colours, but everything looks so delicious on the glossy pages and i cannot get enough of them. elle and harpers and herworld thrive on dreamy people like myself, i swear.
on a horribler note, i have so many glorious plans for the upcoming hols but im too broke to carry them out. it seems everyone around me is going for one exciting trip or another, from the middle east to europe, really. me and my exciting friends. it didnt occur to me that i only had to be 20yearsold to have my friends jetsetting all over the world (and me stuck, lonely, in an apartment with fuzzy plans and nothing concrete boohoo).