im unbelievably screwed up inside. on sheer impulse, and cos id been trying to get back to dieting the past few days, i had fries, meepok and calbee prawn crackers one after another, all in the span of afew hours. like all the things id been craving for but didnt dare eat cos i am, to quote myself, at war with my fats. then i accidentally fell asleep, woke up at 5, peed, remembered what i had eaten, and couldnt sleep at all cos i remembered what i had eaten and kept thinking of how much (uncountable) calories i had ingested and how much those had offset what i had eaten (or not eaten) for these few days and i tossed and turned for 90minutes. until, i woke up for greentea in a bid to counteract the shit thats in me (nevermind it doesnt make sense) and start on my INDIVIDUAL polscience presentation later (which im dead for). one key point to note may be that this would be the second tutorial im going for this whole sem. are you freaking out for me yet.
other things which substantiate my lack of mental normality may be the need for an overwhelming amount of sleep despite mountains of work, a shit academic attitude (i keep thinking of ways to get out of the presentation, instead of starting on the damned thing) and mild periodic anxiety attacks when i check my cell after id left it in my bag for a long time (1 missed call from the bi deputyprojectdirector, 3 from the projectdirector wtf/ 6 textmessages !! my heart stopped beating thinking im prolly in big trouble -like forgetting to get back at a dissatisfied participant or $4857495870000 ‘s missing from the treasury and its all my fault but whew all friendly messages from nette, chongs, and this girl from school (: ). once i woke up i checked my email and true enough there’re people to call. hahaha :/
tuesday ive a polscience midterm, which im ill-studied for. tonight its dinner with myLovelys, saturday a whole line-up of tuition (their exams are coming and theyre not doing fantastic), saturday night my cousin’s 21st, sundays free, mondays school from 4-8, tuesdays The Day. i dont know why man i cant take t h e s e . i dont think im cut out to be an undergrad.


3 Commentaires

  1. su

    siiiii. you have enough things to worry about so stop worrying about what you eat ! seriously. nice food is good for the soul (:

  2. the cruel reality

    sayang u back!

  3. kare

    hey si, dont fret over t food.. seriously! i strongly believe tt food is meant to be enjoyed(: anw.. hope things start getting less busy for u soon. t good thing is tt school is ending soon eh? talk to u soon sweetie. -huggs.

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