i cannot remember when i had grown immune to being alone in the house. not that my dads not around, but when he is he is often dead tired and we only get one or two hours of dinner/tv-time together, then he goes to sleep and because my bio clock is so screwed up it feels like im right alone until the wee hours of the morning when i go to sleep. so inbetween its msn and the internet, lousy teen dramas, lofty dreams and pretty words to fill my head until it gets tired and then the next day, the same. id never been at the receiving end of this loneliness the house emanates because the previous few summers id always been more out of the house than in the house, doing shit in kentridgepark or ecp or wherever and when i get home i sleep. all these writing on the walls, hauling armchairs back from ikea, filling up my room with photos and paintings and flowers and picnicbaskets are not really helping. these days i sit in my room browsing etsy pages and wavering in my determination in the ”room overhaul” because i am not very sure what i am doing anymore. even bang and olufsen speakers and the best music in the world cannot fill up the house when it is empty

id never really thought so, but i think right now im dead jealous of people with big bustling families. when dinners are proper things, not takeaways and eaten at the table at the same time and not separately in their rooms. i wish there are people in the house for me to talk to or go out with. i get sick of calling people and running out to town when i feel like i need company, because sometimes i feel like im making use of people to fill up that missing something inside

oh hai karev, cutest groom ever. byebye brunei boy, youve been displaced.

shoes, schmoose

i definitely need to spend more time wearing my shoes in, drag them across brick walls or tie them to the back of my dads cab, or SOMETHING. i cannot wait for my chucks to become as battered as this girls keds right here

and i wonder how many more years it will take for my brogues (still blindingly white and new because unworn because blindingly white and new) to look like this

whuttt

WHAT KIND OF SHOW, WHAT. wasted three nights to finish because these kind of shows 1 episode 1 hour but very little content so must watch 5 episodes in one night if not cannot sleep. then ending like shit acting like shit; at the end of show not satisfied and finale is inconclusive with cheesy monologue OMG HOW CAN HIGH VIEWERSHIPPPP. taiwan teen dramas have a way of sucking you in and spitting you out, a wad of braindead glassy-eyed turd zz. not that breathing a brainless drama is not enjoyable, but VERY DISAPPOINTING): Brunei Boy is (quite) cute har har haiya, knees went weak and can be quite sweet but haiya SHOW MAKETH NO SENSE. brain is unable to reconcile, and ive also lost considerable respect for self because after thinking zacharyquinto is hot i am now adding Brunei Boy to the hall of fame  /guilty

): kbye

je ne sais quoi

i had things to write about, but mainly the emo afternoon and how i slept it all away (yes, sleep is life’s answer). but anyhow its all zacharyquinto, zacharyquinto and more zacharyquinto in my head right now. its weirddd how sometimes i think hes so hot and then others i want to ram my head into the wall thinking so, though really im pretty certain the proportions of which are 89%-11%, so, SPOCK FTW anyway tyvm♥♥

i cannot believe this semester is all over, minus the moment of revelation on may29. six modules, countless rooftop breaks and ytf/burgerking/subway lunches all now to be conceived only in past tense. this semester i am very glad i found myself in philo in film because it is such a welcomed difference from all the other modules im taking (goodbye statistics, FOR GOOD) and even that horrid last few hours of cramming due to smugness+lazyness that last weekend didnt make me regret anything. when i start working i believe i will miss studying because i am learning so much; i could soak myself in the syllabus prepared by the lecturers, with wikipedia and googlescholar right by my fingertips for whenever im ready for moarrr

its been hardly a week since the end of exams and im dying to do something already. summer this time is an overwhelming bite of banality and i feel like everyday i go out wanting to be substantial but its not really helping because i mostly go home at night feeling only empty and broke. which only means i need to 1. get a job 2. get some lessons or 3. get both. hanging around and watching movies can only get you this far during the holidays

supersonic

sims3 are coming out june2 and singapore is having a er launch party at iluma when “local sims fans will gather to redeem their pre-ordered Collector’s Edition game. early birds to the event will also receive exclusive The Sims 3 T-shirts and a few extra surprises. pre-order bonuses include unlock codes for a Vintage Sports Car, and a free The Sims 2 Expansion Pack download,” hahahha

NOT THAT I CARE of course(: goodnight !

rose and ebb

i will remember the smokey cherry air on the rooftop, bubbles of cloud above our heads, the sun, this time, not visible; streaks of that glorious orange hue because it is seven pm. good cap or otherwise, studying this sem had been a blast. the library’d never been a more romantic spot.

astral days

i got carried away at vintageglamblog.com, you can tell. minus the tacky title this blog has the best collection of wedding photos. i would like to get married NOWNOWNOWW, these photos are awesomezz, see the first set, parisian and laceyumbrellas all, with the best bridesmaids’ outfits everrr. even christinayang would concur. the last set is darling too; i may have a thing for umbrellas. see that cute frill dress and nude shoes and candycoloured background zz and the girl can antm at least the first 6 episodes, fo sho. i would continue going crazy on wedding photos but 1. eyes are burning from 2 hours of blitzing and 2. MAY JEOPARDIZE SELF):

ohh and, lee pace is going to be in a single man, together with hotshots like colin firth, julianne moore and ginnifer goodwin. YAY for ned whos finally getting some new work, in dapper tweedsuits a la mad men somemore. will not miss it FOR THE WORLD, heart is pounding just thinking about it

now with head full of happythings, goodnight frealz♥