quicksand

strangely (and luckily, i suppose), after all these years the bedsheets drawer still have that smell about them. that veryfamiliar smell i cannot possibly describe, because its not like just any old detergent or fabric softener. its a combination of a coupla somethings i think- like some bits of detergent over the years maybe, and also perhaps, do bedsheets when they are kept alongside one another in a drawer for a long time make up some special Bedsheet Chemistry ? a sort of musky, floral, clean scent. it smells just like at the old house, that very special drawer on the kingsized bedframe, the one which snaps shut on your fingers if you dont close it carefully. the one which holds the kooky vintagey things, like bridal lightstands and what-nots, classic leftovers of your parents’ marriage; and special things people bring for you from overseas (big deal it was, when youre young) like that furry garfield waistpouch.

it smells like the jurongwest days, the early btpanjang days, the primaryschool days, the homecooked lunches before the afternoon sessions, the crisp greenridge primary school pinafore, the handwashed laundry- the days when it felt like nothings ever going to change because everything felt so right.

then now all ive got left is this pile of bedsheets which smelled like the old times, when everything else really isnt the same anymore.

youre the other side of the world (to me)

hongkong, 23rd to 27th march. like i was telling felicia on the way back from the airport, it sure felt like a long-drawn school day. like 5 tuesday lunches, 5 yih dinners, 5 clubroom stayovers all mushed up into one. a potpourri of characters, some constant juggling and eventual giving-up; but then theres the good streetfood, Very Hongkong nightlights, the freezing nightair- characteristically, everything happens at night over There.

i really liked being there, minus maybe the jostling and pricey transport. but hell, i could do with a city which sleeps as late as me. some city which freezes over at night, bowls of fishballs with currysauce just round the corner, bumpy siu-ba rides, xuliushan and krispykremes! and h&m, squeezy everything (like stalls and corridors and hotel toilets), cantonese in rapidfire, feeling/being alive at night.

ey someone bring me back please. back to xuliushan contemplating whether to be raped or to be old men with booze and goose, back to endless endless pointless talks in mtr tunnels, back to nightair and nightlife !

le tourbillon

aiya aiya aiya,

life !

a fine romance

we are crazy really but ey so fun(: i dont know where the energy came from ! i was so drained but somehow we climbed up and down railings and tried jumpshots so many times and did weird pseudo-antm (mostly strange and awkward) body contortions. im way too tired to write about this properly, but i think i will remember it as the Mad Bridge Photowhoring Session, and one of those things i shall dearly miss when chongs is away again.

let it snow

im dying to bake i cant wait to bake i really wanna bake

):

hello, love.

so then I took my turn
oh what a thing to have done
and it was all yellow
your skin oh yeah your skin and bones
turn into something beautiful
you know you know i love you so
you know i love you so

pop! goes my heart

myLovelys are the sweetest and i think im starting to feel alittle lousy about s/portsclub sigh. i promise to pick up phonecalls and be more reachable. anyhow, negative-negative-positive im still a veryvery happy person right now cos Someone appeared magically at my doorstep at a weirdass hour and i had my fill of bakwa and really, all is good. am really looking forward to the coming week, and tomorrow and sunday and a whole lot of Lovely lovin’(;

on a totally unrelated note, i dont really realise it but i guess i do say things sometimes which on retrospect makes me want to kick myself hard. i may sometimes overestimate myself, or my capacity or whatever- well sometimes it all comes and bite you in the butt when you dont really expect it to and then you feel bad for quite awhile. ouch):

what if i wanted to break

hahahaa i am a hypothesis in french, a big IF !

id been spending waaay too much time in the clubroom how how how i need to sit down and reply fb-mails (yes yes yes chongs i know i saw but im so sorry i havent had the, time, to do anything) and like spend some time at home la my room aint packed and im dead tired my skin is flaking off i feel like im gaining 20kgs a day and annoying people around had been yakking yakking yakkety yak and its very pissing-off sometimes. sometimes la. other times msn conversations and busrides home crack me up and i can laugh until my windpipe (windpipes? how many have we got??) give way and yes im having alot of fun on public transport its kinda embarrassing really. and then id been feeling up and down up and down up and down of late, a psychotic pendulum of sorts hinged on the crush/non-crush liminality wah help la help i need my blog to come alive and listen to me talk cos sometimes typing just doesnt cut It.