im tiredd and ive stuff to do even though exams are over and ugghh this isnt right is it. im dying to sleep right now but my carrotcake’s baking in the oven and i dont think i’ll frost it tonight afterall. i hope i get down to it tmr or i’d have wasted moooolah on creamcheese and maplesyrup and icingsugar ughh ! even though carrotcake with all the sugaryfrothycheesy icing really defeats the whole purpose of a spiced healthy cake.
but i brought soot to the kitchen for the recipe so i was listening to sylvievartan while measuring flour and sugar and thats some kind of happy too, i think(:
if i manage to frost the cake tonight i’ll post up some pretty carrotcake photos, but till then.
btw, er anyone who reads this is interested in tush ? haha haii come la. be one of the 200 on my friday list, which is still not in existence now): i kaypoh what do publicity. really dig my own grave.

i dont know whether to cry or to laugh that 16 hours before my litpaper, 6 years and 8 lit teachers/tutors later, i find myself scrambling desperately back to sparknotes.com for a trusted summary and thematic analysis, ha ha. doing 50% of the texts suddenly stank as an idea, but due to my misplacement of joaquin’s portrait of an artist unforeseen circumstances im forced to drop that, plus maniam makes no sense (i hope hes not the kind to google himself – it sucks to do authors who’re still alive) and i will only do his collection when absolutely pressed for options. which leaves me with lahiri (im theme-spotting), the anthology, strange days, a half-read lolita and sparknotes.
i am really tearing my hair out now and i regret being easily distracted. like how im actually blogging when—————
okay bye.

hahaa im so lazy i get my music by the bulk, with no quality control. after soot gets them safe and snug i add the folders into itunes and slowly delete the ones that get on my nerves, which’re normally the twangtwangTWANGGscreamshoutmoooan kind which really makes me want to run to another room. and theyre normally from obscure bands called butthole surfers, the mooney suzuki and err the polyphonic sprees.
now ive tons of nice music in dear soot, am on a winningstreak (hahaa not really- more like im getting addicted maybe) for texttwist and im finally dying to watch greys after 3 months BUT kanasai everything has to happen when im in the midst of exams.
theres no such thing as the right time to do anything ! cos i know when exams are over i wont feel like doing anything anymore i’ll just want to nuaaa in my room the make-believe french nightclub with sylvievartan and francoisehardy ripped from vixy.net. life would be ohsobeautiful still, but i would love to be a more productive person ha ha. ughhhh. if only mrschow’s burn-textbook-and-drink thing really will work ! stomachache also nevermindd i just dont wanna studyyy whinewhinewhineeee.
cannotwaitttttforfriiidayyyy.

my notebook has a name ! meet Soot !(: correspondingly ive decided to change my cell’s name from Noir to Charcoal, just so they can be remotely related.
i suspect im suffering from attention deficiency disorder. it is not within my means to sit down and study properly, even after 13years of education, numerous tests and uncountable exams. everything under the sun distracts me, of which the major one is Soot. my sleek pretty Soot through whom i have to do my readings so i cant even shut him down and stuff into my bedclothes drawer like i did when i was doing socialpsych. pooi.
gnurrghhhh this is not good ! and i cannot concentrate, and i secretly want a decent cap): help.

cousins ! but omg id never seen them on photos before and everyone looks really weird and unrecognizable. but ah, its nice to have a photo with most of us in(: i should start making a conscious effort to be triggerhappy during familythings too.

my notes are not exciting but i will not sleep till i finish them. because wednesday is the absolute last day i can continue socialpsych and even though its already thursday as long as i havent slept its really still wednesday. in a bid to keep myself sufficiently psyched (pun unintended) id played astropop on popcap.com, went windowshopping on sgselltrade/sgspree/_spreee countless times, made greentea, masked my face and set fr.yahoo.com as my homepage, hahaa.

on a happier note, my sweet (gasp !) brother brought home half a dozen donutfactory donuts today ! and i had two and a half, too bad for the diet which just started ha ha. ey but honestly krispykremes are still Better By Far. maybe i needa try the plain glazed ones !

whatever it is half a dozen of those prettylittlethings sitting snug in the cheerful orange box after an afternoon nap is always a welcoming sight ! ohayss now BAAACK to the stupid excruciating notes. and i cannot wait for morning to come so i can have donuts for breakfast ! hoho.

i wish i dont feel like my exams had already ended omg ! im thinking up plans to do everything except studying. and thats badbadBADDD* cos my first papers less than a week away. si really not paiseh one.

):

more of these when the big E ends(:

im feeling fat NOW.

i never want to live alone. its quite disgusting seeing only yourself wherever you turn in the apartment and the skies are rumbling but refusing to rain so its weird and i dont want to close the windows though its already so warm and stuffy with them thrown open.

had a short sweet shopping trip with sokies out yest and realised the longer i dont shop the harder it is to part with my money hahaa and i get grouchy when i dont buy anything at the end of the day. like a sheer waste of my time out. uurgh.

and my aircon is dripping water. my mad mad aircon.

im going to bathe now. and im gonna be generous with my boots bodywash which i save for my Down Days. boooo.

i think id said this before, but i can spend hundreds of hours going through deviantart oggling over pretty photos and being envious and jealous that my brain does not work like half of theirs. and of course that i dont look like half of what those models do but its nice all the same, looking at beautiful things and beautiful people. half the time these people are more enigmatic than goodlooking anyway. these days id been indulging in big thick magazines too (6dollars for a whole book of advertisements is really indulgent) and i like looking at the mad colours on the models faces, think neongreen and deepblues speckled with silver eyeliner and impossibly high cheekbones. i know i’ll scream and run away if ever i see people on the streets donning those insane colours, but everything looks so delicious on the glossy pages and i cannot get enough of them. elle and harpers and herworld thrive on dreamy people like myself, i swear.

on a horribler note, i have so many glorious plans for the upcoming hols but im too broke to carry them out. it seems everyone around me is going for one exciting trip or another, from the middle east to europe, really. me and my exciting friends. it didnt occur to me that i only had to be 20yearsold to have my friends jetsetting all over the world (and me stuck, lonely, in an apartment with fuzzy plans and nothing concrete boohoo).