the scene is dead

these things never happen, but for the sake of keeping the light at the end of the tunnel during this laden week, heres a list of to-do’s in newyear/recess (boo, NUS) week:

/by yux’s fervent recommendation, brightstar on hdopenv. also wild things, time traveler’s wife, grey gardens, ingluorious, mrfox, and crybaby which i still havent gotten down to watching, and the delicious handful of vcds i accumulated over the termbreak

/fnl and bbt !

/loads of baking and sorting out the fudge sponge cake zz, and other domesticities like hankerchief-sewing. im so stoked i got those cute lace things from daiso and i cant wait to sew on every single one of them

/READINGS READINGS READINGS

/organise my itunes hahhahahaha

im feeding on oolongtea and being very hungryy. schools starting in afew hours and im still figuring labour movements in china sighhh why is this sem so much more vomit-inducing than the last

la roux looks like a frog

not if you were the last junk

when i started the tumblr i thought it to be somewhere i put the particularly special photos ive taken, inspirations and distractions. it would be distinct from the wordpress which would be– well, wordier. now that ive become lazier at writing and a much more addicted and compulsive tumblrer its getting razzer confusing which site to use for which– and im thinking about putting it all to tumblr, but wordpress has records of so many awesome things in the past im not ready to write it off just yet

i have a wordpress, a tumblr, and twitter. its impossible not to read me like a book

home is wherever im with you

the song was good when i heard it afew months back, but the video, EVEN BETTER. the sunset and orange lightleaks and happy music-making group of friends really made my sleepy (and very full) fridaynight. now i want to quit school (NEH-NEH this credits transfer + modules conversion bullcrap) and wear long peasant dress and carry watering can on padi field also

advice to myself

Leave the dishes.
Let the celery rot in the bottom drawer of the refrigerator
and an earthen scum harden on the kitchen floor.
Leave the black crumbs in the bottom of the toaster.
Throw the cracked bowl out and don’t patch the cup.
Don’t patch anything. Don’t mend. Buy safety pins.
Don’t even sew on a button.
Let the wind have its way, then the earth
that invades as dust and then the dead
foaming up in gray rolls underneath the couch.
Talk to them. Tell them they are welcome.
Don’t keep all the pieces of the puzzles
or the doll’s tiny shoes in pairs, don’t worry
who uses whose toothbrush or if anything
matches, at all.
Except one word to another. Or a thought.
Pursue the authentic-decide first
what is authentic,
then go after it with all your heart.
Your heart, that place
you don’t even think of cleaning out.
That closet stuffed with savage mementos.
Don’t sort the paper clips from screws from saved baby teeth
or worry if we’re all eating cereal for dinner
again. Don’t answer the telephone, ever,
or weep over anything at all that breaks.
Pink molds will grow within those sealed cartons
in the refrigerator. Accept new forms of life
and talk to the dead
who drift in though the screened windows, who collect
patiently on the tops of food jars and books.
Recycle the mail, don’t read it, don’t read anything
except what destroys
the insulation between yourself and your experience
or what pulls down or what strikes at or what shatters
this ruse you call necessity.

; advice to myself, by louise erdrich

ocd as i am, would probably never be able to literally do half the things there but yes i think its time to tickachillpill

its the first day of school and i am refusing to sleep

i want you to keep everything

i am writing to remember that night we filled stuffed our tummies full of yummies, then went to bo’s to dangle our feet in the pool. there we invented our newyear annual rite of passage and talked about people and people talking about people. i think together we feel formidable– we’re always trying to make sense of life’s mysteries, them big and small, important and really-not-so-important. if we werent so full i think there would also be tortilla scoops and avocado dips; those would have made the night perfecter

some company are very comforting, and recently i had been feeling especially thankful for such warm precious people

my sister died that night. i wish i could say that she made some miracle recovery, but she didnt. she just stopped breathing. and i wish i could tell you that there was something good that came out of it, that through kate’s death we could all go on living, or even that her life had some special meaning .. like they named a park after her, or a street, or that the supreme court changed the law because of her .. but none of that happened. shes just gone .. a little piece of blue sky now

; my sister’s keeper

sh!t faced, fumbling in a dark place

/honestly, i may not even care what gives anymore. funny how i can be hung up one moment, and just weirded out the next. this sorely lacks context and actuality- like suspension in a time-freeze jelly which is starting to turn foul-smelling

/had a blast with nette out today- chicken wings and mushroom soup mmhm yummy for the tummy, esp in the crazy and unnecessary rain. remembered how su, chongs and i got our lenses together at chongs’  uncle’s shop and i secretly never learned how to remove lenses until one day i just- got it. after the 45th time of pinching my pupils and nearly going blind

/article worth a read for the antm/projectrunway whores amongst us

/i would like some toasty marshmallows now

/outgrowing people is scary

/i miss summer and the later half of 2008. read: cant believe its gonna be 2010 soon and im still quite very much the same as i had been when it was 2008-going-2009. deeeeeeeeee- wait for it- pressing

SRSLY

yea that’s it. SRSLY.

alabama, arkansas,

him: jade
her: alexander
him: do you remember that day you fell outta my window?
her: i sure do, you came jumping out after me.
him: well, you fell on the concrete, nearly broke your ass, you were bleeding all over the place and i rushed you out to the hospital, you remember that ?
her: yes i do
him: well theres something i never told you about that night
her: what didnt you tell me ?
him: while you were sitting in the backseat smoking a cigarette you thought was gonna be your last, i was falling deep, deeply in love with you, and I never told you til just now

; home, edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros

please and thank you

jook last night was naaaise, minus some seekritz and mishapz, like not getting my badromance, and really weird lousy music at phuture zz (read: NOT ENOUGH LDGG). despite alllll, wednesday night got me really stoked for bangkok – like a prelude to the drunken fun we’re going to have in a few hours time. im 4 hours away from waking up and starting the treacherous journey to the east; stomach all wacked cos of two glasses of greentea, hearts all weird from this week of glee, back-of-the-head packing worries etc etc. i never thought its a good idea to go into something with expectations but this time i cannot help it. maybe because IM FINALLY GETTING OUT OF SINGAPORE, like since paris, and you cannot imagine my determination to have fun. lets hope it turns out well

hokayy off for the weekend, TAKE CARE GOOD PEOPLE♥♥